Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
