So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
