did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
