woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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