I understand Curling. That high.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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