if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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