i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
