So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
