batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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