My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
