You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
