My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
