I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
