he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
