why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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