I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
