I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
