U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
