He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
