I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize