every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
