I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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