You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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