btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
