I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
