Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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