Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
