Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
