i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
