Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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