How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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