i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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