the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
