Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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