Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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