ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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