People with herpes should wear stickers.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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