its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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