I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
