Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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