i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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