So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
