i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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