Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize