Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
