Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize