I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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