matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
