i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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