the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
