he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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