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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
