i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
