I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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