i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
