do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
