I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize