HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
