y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.