Texts From Last Night

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  (260): View more from Indiana

  So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Are your eyes okay

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I mean if I was Asian they would be

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  (260): So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes (1-260): Are your eyes okay (260): I mean if I was Asian they would be http://tfl.nu/l3r4
  Replies (8) Good night (2418) Bad night (822)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  $1 pitcher night should be outlawed.

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  (859): $1 pitcher night should be outlawed. http://tfl.nu/2dye
  Replies (38) Good night (5385) Bad night (948)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  Wtf? What happened?

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

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  (931): Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other. (1-931): Wtf? What happened? (931): Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home. http://tfl.nu/q0zo
  Replies (42) Good night (17998) Bad night (1221)
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  (562): View more from California

  Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....

  (949): View more from California

  Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back

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  (562): Dude, can't find my socks anywhere.... (949): Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back http://tfl.nu/cw1n
  Replies (15) Good night (1150) Bad night (4515)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him

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  (856): Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him http://tfl.nu/33vk
  Replies (18) Good night (999) Bad night (5492)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"

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  (312): I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day" http://tfl.nu/qds9
  Replies (5) Good night (1547) Bad night (1449)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?

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  (309): We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come? http://tfl.nu/kmdd
  Replies (11) Good night (3483) Bad night (802)
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  (516): View more from New York

  If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles

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  (516): If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles http://tfl.nu/okmw
  Replies (4) Good night (1643) Bad night (1211)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals

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  (330): i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals http://tfl.nu/vtga
  Replies (1) Good night (860) Bad night (417)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."

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  (570): You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG." http://tfl.nu/j0ai
  Replies (0) Good night (632) Bad night (372)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.

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  (325): She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin. http://tfl.nu/rsir
  Replies (7) Good night (822) Bad night (540)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house

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  (512): it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house http://tfl.nu/35q8
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (371)
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  (315): View more from New York

  is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?

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  (315): is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it? http://tfl.nu/ubf5
  Replies (5) Good night (384) Bad night (529)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night

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  (618): I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night http://tfl.nu/cx13
  Replies (2) Good night (554) Bad night (216)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.

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  (219): The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC. http://tfl.nu/ehhb
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (172)

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