Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
