Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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