he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've blown a few things in my day
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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